Thoughts on A Substance-Free Lifestyle

[marks]

I used to drink a lot, and back in the day used to smoke a fair amount of marijuana with my best friend. I was fine with this at the time. This was when I was maybe 16-19 or so. I eventually recognised how much of a junkie my best friend had become (I literally never saw him without a joint in his hand, ever.) and I decided that although its fun to smoke recreationally, thats somewhere I dont want to end up.
Drinking was a similar story, my dad was a chronic, abusive alcoholic who basically destroyed my childhood and so I kinda saw where that path could lead, but I was young and naive and fine with going out to a club and getting trashed with my friends. Thats all good and well when its only you dealing with a hangover in the morning, but when it ends up causing problems for other people, other people you care about - that isnt cool. So something like that happened kinda recently, and it was the last straw. I dont drink anymore, because when I drink I'm not in an acute state of mind, and I dont trust myself to drink in moderation.
If you want to smoke and drink then you cant not respect that decision. It isnt your life, people are entitled to lead theirs however they want.

[Hollow]

Some interesting posts there.
Nub and Whiffen, I can say I was in a similar position back when I was younger. Though me and my friends all drank, it was only at parties, and hangovers never existed when you're young , so I was glad I met a stable set of friends, who never pressured me into trying anything, If I wanted i could. But as we got older things started changing. We would go out all the time, doing pub/bar crawls, like it was an achievement to get that drunk. A couple of my friends have taken acid many times, and one friend was slipped the date rape drug (I think he picked up the wrong drink at a club) where he disappeared the whole night..thankfully nothing happened to him. I remember going to this one pub called the Crown, me and my friend had about 15 JD and cokes, then moved on to another place, to have these crazy cocktails. I honestly cant recall ever having such a fucked up horrendous night, It really kicked me up the backside, I couldn't trust myself to drink in moderation on nights out, as it was far too easy to slip into the groove of buying another, then another. I mean, I wont deny i had fun when i drank, but I always went a step too far and ruined it by overstepping my limits. So it was a case of 'whats the point?' I wasn't happy doing this anymore. I hated not being in control of my actions. If I could learn to tolerate myself better with alcohol before, I probably wouldn't be in the state of mind I am now. But I'm glad I went through all the shit of it to come out the other side, a happier more positive person, It makes me appreciate my health much more now.

I don't want people to think that I completely object with recreational uses of alcohol or light drugs, I am not against it per se, it is just not for me. I do not get a buzz off it. But please do not insist that I am missing out, or not having fun now, I actually find that a little offensive. I find many other ways to have fun and like working harder to get more enjoyment out of life. It's the only time I've got a bit funny with someone, because they accused me of being boring...which is completely irrelevant to anything drinkings/drugs related and just a straight attack of my personality and intelligence.

But one thing now I do not understand is, why it has become such the norm for all young people to be going out and getting fucked out of their minds. Every time I walk home from work in the evenings, I'm horrified at all the people my age, shouting, fighting, threatening, pissing, puking in our streets. How can people continue to abuse their bodies like that? I know not everyone is like that and have no problems with sensible drinkers...but I find it extremely tough sometimes to sit on the fence and continue to observe it all without wanting to speak up. Maybe I'm getting a little too passionate about this now, I dont know. I guess my faith in common sense/decency we should have for ourselves has gone misplaced...

@ESJ/marks, thats some heavy shit man. I can agree on more than enough points you made though.You know its going too far if other peoples feelings are getting tangled up in your own mess.
And yeah, true, I chose this lifestyle because I believe deep down, it is the right choice for me. I'm liberal anyways, so I respect other peoples choices and opinions if they give me the same level of respect regardless. As long as you believe you are gaining satisfaction on your preferred walk of life, its all cool.

note: I'm possibly a little surprised by the amount of people on here so far who are non/low drinkers/smokers

[Text_Fish]

I'm interested by this notion that avoiding drink and drugs allows for a "clean" mind and body. Assuming we accept the fact that both the mind and the body are controlled by chemicals, do we then say that it's the consumption of chemicals which we don't naturally produce that is unclean? If so, I'd say it would be nigh on impossible to maintain a clean body and mind in the modern world. Our ancient ancestors' diets were so far removed from our own, that taking in to account all the changes in between it's very difficult to tell exactly what is 'natural' for us. Our water is treated and filtered numerous times before we drink it, and goodness knows what alien chemicals are found in our shopbought food.

Going by this logic, I'd suggest that the closest anybody can come to the notion of a 'straight edge' lifestyle could (or should?) feasibly include alcohol as long as it's organically brewed (preferably locally to cut down on carbon emissions ).

When I used to drink too much I would generally choose to drink the highest volume possible at the lowest price possible. It's safe to say it was the cheap substitution chemicals in that rather than the alcohol that lead to my terrible hangovers (and possibly my questionable behaviour).

The only rule anybody should really live by is common sense. If you go out and consume your body-weight in cheap lager then of course you're not doing yourself any favours, but you could consume the same volume of nice red wine and have an enriching, life affirming evening. I'd say if you don't trust yourself to strike that balance then it's right to steer clear of drinking for the time being, but you should also look to confront those self-trust issues as they're probably attributable to something deeper.

Hollow Night, did you go to the Crown by St Nic's Market? Every time I've been there the stairs leading up to the toilets have been drenched in vomit! Horrible.

[mat_de_b]

I really think you're exaggerating how harmful it is. Without being a fairly fully fledged alcoholic you're unlikely to suffer any serious health problems from drinking. This whole not getting hurt thing just feels like its an add on to the whole modern health and safety age. People have been getting fucked up for years and they arent dead.

[Hollow]

Mat, I havent' exaggerated anything. I haven't even brought any statistics into this yet. I think you'd be surprised at the amount of alcohol related deaths in the UK. But it's beside the point....

And what makes you think I'd constantly enjoy getting fucked out of my head? Even if there were no repercussions? I don't see that as fun, sheesh. You seem to have the notion that everyone should be conforming to drinking/smoking/taking drugs. How about the idea of independent thought? And doing what I feel is best for me

And yeah, Text_Fish, thats the one...it is a trash dump most of the time , but they play decent music heh.

Edit: I will get round to responding to your full post Text, but not this very moment.

[.treeturtle--]

i've never had alcohol or any sort of drug, and i don't regret it whatsoever
practically all my friends smoke and drink and have asked me countless times to join but I don't plan to anytime soon.

Last year I was with a bunch of my buddies just hanging out. I had never had any alcohol before, but tonight, with all my friends drinking, I felt like drinking too. This was a big deal to my friends who had now surrounded my as they waited my first gulp. As I was holding the beer in my hand, I changed my mind, and decided to stay sober once again. My friends were bummed but they got over it pretty fast. A few hours later, all my friends were completely wasted, and I was in another room with one of the not-totally-wasted ones playing halo (its not hard to beat a drunk kid in halo) when one of my friends came storming through the room, keys in hand and headed for his car. This certain friend had been dumped a few days prior, and with encouragement from the drunk masses, had now decided to drive over to his ex's house and "tell that bitch what's up" The kid was totally smashed and was about to take a midnight drive. He was quite determined and it took me shoving him to the ground and taking his keys to get him not to drive.
This got me wondering what if. What if I had gotten drunk that night and wasn't there to stop my friend? He probably would have wrecked his car, hell, he might have even got himself killed. It was one of those really weird moments that totally changes your perspective on things. It's like that one beer could have been the difference between my friend being dead or alive today.
I'm now then full time designated driver, and plan to always be.

[Hollow]

Wow. Its those kind of stories that makes me stay strong and positive about my decision and I applaud you for doing the right thing in that situation. If your friends are decent enough, they should respect your choice...but don't nag them either about drinking loads unless something like that happens again...nobody appreciates it, you'll just give off the impression that you think you are better than them, when in reality or you are trying to do is help out.

If you can stand heavier music , I suggest maybe checking out a few straight edge bands, not many of them actually do much preaching of the lifestyle , but the lyrical content is more about general awareness and positivity in modern life, it connected with me on a level I thought music couldn't, it was like the message I'd been striving for to be portrayed in fast, melodic hardcore bands

check out bands like-
Have Heart
Champion
Verse
Modern Life Is War (not sxe, but the singer is probably one of the best songwriters to exist in hardcore/punk music)

Oh and I love the fact now that i can travel with friends to gigs in different cities and get home the same night sober, even if the others had their fun being designated driver has its benefits as it means i can get more people aswell to come to a show and have fun!

[Major Banter]

being designated driver has its benefits as it means i can get more people aswell to come to a show and have fun!

Charge for this.

I make monies.

[Jangalomph]

Well add me to the charts of not doing any thing. I'm a respectful, non smoking, no alcohol, no sex guy. Yeah when i get married i'll obviously do things with my wife.. but before marriage. Nada. People try to pressure me into drugs, and people always tell me. "YOU WILL TRY IT ONE DAY! YOU CAN'T ALWAYS SAY NO!" I disagree.. i don't wanna fall in with majority. 99% of the people i know, smoke, drink, dip, do drugs etc.. and i prefer to not be in the majority. Sure i've lost friends over it.. but i like the respectful happy side of life. I enjoy other things rather than "Oh my god i'm dying for some nicotine dude. Please please give me a cigarette. It totally ticks me off when people are like that. You should see my mother, she would practically start crying and beating the floor if you took her last cigarette. And i don't wanna end up like that. I find it to be a total waste of life and good times. If your sad and down i don't feel like drugs are the way.. Don't they make you.. worse? I'd rather die riding my dirt bike than die from lung cancer.

EDIT: Also thank you for sharing this type of lifestyle with me! I love this kind of music. I appreciate it greatly. Made my day. Have heart ftw.

[Hollow]

That's totally awesome Janga!
The more people I meet and talk about my lifestyle, the stronger and happier it makes me feel about myself for taking what i believe is the right path in my life. It strangely reassures me that i am doing it for the right reasons, but I always like to get perspective of it from others.
You're unfortunately bound to run into people who aren't going to take it seriously and I've had my disagreements with people of course...But I never hold it against others if they drink or whatever, its their choice, i'll get along with them regardless, if they're a nice person

I had a recent 'confrontation' with someone because they couldn't understand why i abstained from drink/smoking/drugs and that I should be doing it because I'm young blah blah, even after i told them how bad drinking fucked me up. I was told to lighten up...which is ironic as I'm rarely ever someone to take things seriously. The conversation then switched to to a talk of what would happen in the situation of one of my friends spiking my drink, or even pretending to. I was almost completely shocked and disgusted. Would you do that to your friend? What kind of respect does that show? You wouldn't put meat in your vegan friends food or whatever now...thats just plain wrong...and to even joke about it. It seems people don't have the same respect for others who choose a different way of life. But anyway...shit happens..it only made me more resilient over my lifestyle.

And you should totally check out the Boston band Defeater. I saw them tonight. Absolutely amazing. Not straight edge, but totally on the same page with their message and music

Edit: Have Heart rule so much

[Jangalomph]

Well that's awesome! But then again that guy must of been bleh. :/ But yes.. this life style makes me happy knowing that i found this thread and read some stuff. Pretty supporting. And that is disrespectful to spike a drink That's why i don't bother even going to parties and junk.. i just can't even handle being around it. But that's just me. And whats your steam, i shall add you to discuss further in real time


EDIT: Down To nothing is a pretty great band in this genre, and their song higher learning is pretty great!

[Hollow]

Well that's awesome! But then again that guy must of been bleh. :/ But yes.. this life style makes me happy knowing that i found this thread and read some stuff. Pretty supporting. And that is disrespectful to spike a drink That's why i don't bother even going to parties and junk.. i just can't even handle being around it. But that's just me. And whats your steam, i shall add you to discuss further in real time


EDIT: Down To nothing is a pretty great band in this genre, and their song higher learning is pretty great!

I'm privileged that I was the one that introduced you to the Straight Edge lifestyle
My Steam is TheHollowNight.

And yeah, I really like Down to Nothing aswell! I'm seeing Ruiner and Carpathian live real soon too!

[Dr. Delta]

but I'm more of a non-partying introverted shut-in than anything else

[[frank]]

And yeah, I really like Down to Nothing aswell! I'm seeing Ruiner and Carpathian live real soon too!

Oh good man!

I saw Carpathian almost two months ago (travelled interstate for that, being Australian and all) and damn they put on a good show.

Ruiner played a show only recently nearby, but was midweek, and I wasn't allowed to go (darn 17). Anyway, my mates went to that and they were heaps good too.

Good taste in music.

[Hollow]

Cheers
I've got so many gigs to see this year
The Bronx, Ruiner/Carpathian, Converge, Lewd Acts, The Carrier (again), Polar Bear Club to name a couple haha, should be great fun!

edit: I was browsing Defeater's myspace a moment ago and stumbled across this picture...

WTF, APERTURE SCIENCE???