I got a chance to play your map and I liked what I saw, there was a surprising amount of detail that you can't get from just the screens you posted and you have really solid brushwork. But I still caught a number of little mistakes that are to be expected from someone new to mapping, so I took some screens and I'll point them out.
I'm not sure what the fix for this issue is, but everytime you include a cardboard box like this as a prop_phys, this error will happen. It'll get shot up and then fall through the world in a really weird way. Try not to have these cardboard boxes unless they don't break up in into gibs or someone here is kind enough to show a way to fix it.
The issue with these areas (and some other ones) is that this light, while a cool variety, isn't actually coming from anywhere. Try to have all your lights have a source, even if just implied, because while the red light might pass as coming from the electrical box, the blue light definitely doesn't have a definite source. The variety is great, its important to have that variety, but I can't really say where the blue light is coming from.
This last one isn't a huge deal but try to include a ramp with the "player_clip" texture over the steps, instead of just having the steps because it's a much smoother transition and doesn't look all bumpy when the player walks up the stairs.
Nice job though, great first map. Real solid brushwork.
